R.I.P. Solzhenitsyn

By reading One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich in the 11th grade I learned about the limitless tenacity of the human spirit and that I can write a 15 page essay in one night if I have to.

Thanks man.

Half-Marathon

I'm going to post this here so I can't weasel out of it later.

I'm going to join a gym soon and run a half marathon in November.

It will be like that movie Run Fatboy Run but probably way funnier.

Sub Pop 20 Weekend

Hey! Sub Pop turned twenty this weekend! They even did a thing about it on Evening Magazine! John Curley talked about Wolf Parade! And they listed Patton Oswalt's name as "Oswalt Patton!"

I was lucky enough to know someone who is important enough to be invited to the super fancy party at the top of the Space Needle on Thursday night (yeah, I'm bragging a bit...so what?). The party was pretty great. Free foods. Free drinks (if you were willing to stand in line for about 20-30 minutes to get one). Bands played (Death Vessel, Sera Cahoone, Kelley Stoltz). Bands were there (SHINZ!). I went with Sarah from Hardly Art and she took some pictures...but she seems to think its 1968 and took them with real film, so we'll see if i ever get a gander at them.

I also went to the Sub Pop comedy show at the Moore Theatre. Everyone was pretty great (Todd Barry, Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal) except David Cross, who was clearly having an off night or something, and Patton Oswalt who was the funniest person ever in the history of time. Patton came out and did an ENTIRELY NEW 40 minutes of material. And, as my good friend Joan pointed out to me, it takes most comedians at least a year to write that much new, hilarious stuff. This guy is like the filthy Bill Cosby. A comedy machine.

Now is a probably a good a time as any post my most favorite, least talked about Sub Pop release.


Download: Zumpano Look What The Rookie Did

Released during the dizzy ascent of "alternative" music, Look What The Rookie Did's gawky, nervous pop music was part of Sub Pop's shift away from being a "grunge" label. This is pretty much the standard template for almost every pure pop band for the last 14 years. Sentimental, self-deprecating, straight-forward and a wee bit quirky. You know, all the things I like. This record also features the songwriting talents of one Carl Newman who would later go on to staggering success with The New Pornographers. But, honestly, I think this record is better than at least half of the New Porno's stuff.

Everything's Comin' Up Eli!

Looks like all that laziness is finally paying off...

Women Prefer Men With Stubble.

Trident Wrappers and What They Say About Me

I thoroughly cleaned my apartment the other day. I moved the couch and swept under it. I moved the entertainment unit thingie and swept behind it.

While doing this I found 17 Trident gum wrappers.

What This Might Say About Me As A Person:
1. I'm a litterbug.
2. I don't care about the cleanliness of my apartment.
3. I often black out and hide gum wrappers around the apartment in an attempt to frustrate myself.

What This Actually Says About Me As A Person:
1. I chew a lot of Trident gum
2. I often keep the wrappers with the intention of spitting the gum out into them but am far more likely to just do something gross like reach into my mouth and pull the gum out.
3. My pockets are bad at holding Trident gum wrappers.
4. I don't want to throw my wrappers just anywhere.

What I Should Do With 17 Trident Gum Wrappers:
1. Save them. Put them in a special place. Save the rest of my Trident gum wrappers for the rest of the year. At the end of the year, send all my Trident gum wrappers to the Trident Gum Works and ask for a sponsorship.

What I Will Probably Do With 17 Trident Gum Wrappers:
1. Throw them away.

Related: Can You Eat The Wrapper From Trident Gum